My first proper encounter with online dating took place in March last year. I say 'proper' as I’d had a brief stint on it when I was still living in Italy, soon after the end of my relationship with the Ugly Bastard (we’ll get to him at some point). So I wasn’t a complete online dating virgin, but a good few years had passed and internet dating was a very different ballgame in Italy at the time – very frowned upon, not openly talked about, and consequentially mostly shunned by women. None of my friends at the time knew that I had gone on a few dates with people I had met online... and to be fair, I did meet a couple of odd people! I might even add a little ‘Italian dates’ section on here later on.
But anyway, after the end of my long-term relationship with my Italian boyfriend and my brief spell hanging out with cyber-weirdos, I decided to jump ship and moved country. Soon after that, I had a phase of meeting people online, but it was mainly social networking and the like, as I was trying hard to make friends in the UK. I did go out with a couple of nice blokes which I met in clubs and such, but soon realised it felt too early for me to be dating again. The Ugly Bastard had left a big emotional scar and I needed time to heal. I’m not really into casual dating or playing games, therefore I decided to just be single for a while.
I’m not ashamed to say that weeks turned into months, which quickly became years. Certainly the longest dry spell since my teens! I can partially blame it to work, which took on a very busy turn, and partially to the existence of Handsome Housemate.
Handsome Housemate would deserve a separate post, and maybe one day he’ll get one. We’ve been best buddies since the day we met, the way it normally doesn’t happen with male friends. We have lived together for over 3 years now, and he’s always made me feel like I have somebody to go home to. I genuinely believe that for a long time I didn’t feel like I needed a BF as I could just go home and crash on the sofa with him. I’m also sure that we both missed out on several potential opportunities, as people often mistake us for a couple. We’re planning to have T-shirts made which read: “I’m not with him/her”, with a massive arrow underneath.
Even so, there’s only so long you can concentrate on friends and work and keep ignoring men, so, as time was passing, I'd find myself scanning the crowds when I was out, checking out men in the canteen at work, and letting friends introduce me to single guys. Despite living in a city, there seems to be a distinct lack of suitable bachelors in my age range. Everybody seems to either be a student (23 or younger, eek) or, well, a lot older. Online dating was the next natural step.
In my next post, I’ll tell you all about my first online date, and the lessons it taught me. Talk to you soon!
Pupa x
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